Satsang with Om Baba

12Dec14 – Rishikesh

First question is: What is Self Enquiry?

The term Self Enquiry means: to ask about one’s own Self, to seek about one’s own Self.
So, Self Enquiry is to enquire, to ask, to seek about the Self.
If you like you can call it “my Self”, and say: “I seek about my Self”, or if you like you can say: “I seek about the Self, the One, Universal Self”.
Fortunately, it is one and the same thing, but we can approach it in any way we prefer. We can say: “What is my Self?”, perhaps it is more immediate like this, saying “Who truly am I?”.
And that is actually the purpose of all Spiritual Practice. This is Spirituality itself. To realize who am I truly. This is the Essence of Spirituality. This is why we are here. This is why we are born as human beings. To realize this question, to realize the Self, you can call it “to realize God”, if you like this terminology, to realize Shiva, to realize Jesus, to realize our connection with Jesus. We ask: “How is Jesus and me connected?”, “How is Shiva and me connected?”, “What is our connection, truly?”, “How is me and the Supreme connected?”, “What is my place here in the Universe?”, “How is me and the World connected?”, “How is me and everything that I perceive connected?”.
So, the philosophers, since the ancient times, they gave many many answers to this, about Life, the Universe, and everything, many answers. And some of these answers were very beautiful, but there is only one disadvantage – that sometimes the answers conflict each other.
Even answers that are made by very good people, by very wise beings, sometimes they don’t go together, sometimes they go in
different directions. And that is where the confusion starts – from our point of view. Because if everybody would say the same thing, we could just read one book, we could say: “Ah, I know now”, then we could read another book, reading the same thing, and we could say: “Ok, it is confirmed!”.
But it is not like this. Many different theories, many philosophers.
There is a word in english, it is called “wise-acring”.
I do not know how to translate, it means, let us say, “philosophy of the village”, like everybody says his own philosophy, and tries to explain all and everything, according to his own point of view.
And so, we poor ignorant beings, searching for the Truth, the more we read about these things, the more we come in contact with people outside, the more we get confused.
Then we come across some very compassionate Being, who tells us: “I can not really tell you what is the Truth, you have to look inside yourself. I can really only point to you a little bit the direction, but you have to look inside of you, dive deep inside of you. Give up everything else, for a moment. Give up every other attachment, every other anchor, give up all anchors, give up all safety belts, give them up and dive inside your Being! And seek for the Truth of your Self!”.
It is like Bunjee Jumping, but without safety cord – you just jump!
This is called Self-Enquiry.
To dive deep inside our Being.
Enquiring about the Truth of our Being.
When that Truth has been known,
when the question “Who am I?” has been answered…
then, automatically, all other questions are being answered – automatically!
And it is not anymore some theory, it is not something we believe, it is not wise-acring, it is not a philosophy, but it is something very very direct, like a fruit held in one’s hand.
You hold an apple, somebody comes and asks you: “What are you holding?”, “I am holding an apple!” – so clear, very clear.
So, in Spirituality we are not really so much trying to entangle ourselves with Philosophy, we try rather to disentangle ourselves from Philosophy (we have been too much entangled) and to have a very direct experience.
And even sometimes that we have some direct experience, then our old friend, the mind, comes, and says: “Sorry I have one more doubt, what is my connection with the World?”.
At this moment, when we have merged somehow; when, somehow, all the questions have been answered by a feeling of fulfillment, by a feeling of understanding, by a feeling of realization…
At this moment, there can be no doubt, there can be no cloud, there can be neither Philosophy, neither the seed of Philosophy, that is the doubt. All seeds have been burned. But sometimes, even in these precious moments that we identify ourselves with Pure Awareness, the mind comes knocking at the door, telling: “Hey! Do you remember me? I am your old friend, the mind”, and it says: “Ok, you have attained a very beautiful experience, but you are not fully perfect yet. You have to tell me one more thing: what is my connection with the World? What is my connection with this? What is my connection with that?”. And then we think: “Oh, alright, until I don’t solve this, I will not have achieved the Pure Awareness.”
But that what appears in the Field of Awareness in the shape of a question, even in the shape of a tormenting question, that is also just an object. Just an object that can appear, no problem, it will disappear, like everything else.
Something appears on the Field of Awareness that we are, on the Field of the Being that we are;
it, somehow, appears from somewhere, it doesn’t matter from where…
Sometimes it stays for a little bit, it does its own dance.
Sometimes it is connected with an emotion, sometimes pleasant, sometimes unpleasant, it does not matter, it stays for a little bit then it goes. What is this thing that comes and goes – this is not important. What is important is That who stays, what does not come from somewhere and does not go to somewhere. That is truly important!
Be very careful of the last trick of the mind, when the mind has almost been defeated, completely defeated, when it has lost its illusionary power, it has one last trick, it comes with one last question, one last pocket card, telling: “Yes, you have done very well, you have attained, but not 100%, you still need one last thing; Just tell me: how are you connected to the World? You see these birds flying, what is your true connection to the birds?”. And you think: “I don’t know”, and somehow the feeling of Knowledge disappears, and you think: “Still I need to know one more thing, otherwise I am not complete”.
Commenting on the Avadhuta Gita:
Unlimited by a beginning I am forever shining forth.
Unlimited by the continuing play. I am forever shining forth.
Unlimited by the destruction of all I am forever shining forth.
I am nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss, I am everywhere, like space.
Though you may be spoken of, You have neither name nor form.
Whether you are divided or undivided, there is nothing here but you.
Oh mind, Oh shameless, wandering mind, why do you weary yourself so?
I am nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss, I am everywhere, like space.
Unlimited by a beginning, I am forever shining forth

Many things, many experiences in our Life, they have a beginning – actually every experience has a beginning, even this body has a beginning moment, even every thought, every Philosophy, every emotion, it has a beginning. Everything we experience, everything we have ever known has a beginning, it begins within the Universe – it has a beginning. This is a sort of limitation.

I am forever shining forth

“I am unlimited by a beginning, I was always shining, there has never been a beginning in Me”. Everything else has a beginning.
Unlimited by the continuing play.

Something always begins, at a certain moment: this body, this mind, each and every thought, each and every experience – everything! – it has a beginning and then it makes some “play”. A thought comes and it makes its own play, it goes, and a new thought comes, it makes some play, then it goes, in a continuing play, like this play goes on forever.
But Me, “I am not limited by that, I do not play along with that”.
I am aware of the play happening.
“I am shining forth”.
I illuminate the play, but I do not play along with that.
I am just aware of that. I am just aware of this continuous play.
What am I doing? – “I am forever shining forth”.
He is not exaggerating. He speaks of the Truth, very straightforward.
Unlimited by the destruction of all, I am forever shining forth.

Every experience that we have, there comes a moment that it
finishes. In fact, every single day, the experience is different. We can have every day the same routine, exactly the same routine, and every day it will be a different thing – every day.
In the Avadhuta Gita, it says:
“I am unlimited by this destruction, I don’t play along with this destruction. What I am, it doesn’t have a beginning”. It did not start at a certain point, it is not evolving somehow, it does not grow, it does not decay, it does not dissolve in the end.
“I am not limited by the destruction of all things.”
Everything is limited by this rule: at some moment it must finish – I am not. There is no death for Me, there is no decay for Me.

I am forever shining forth.
I am nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss, I am everywhere like space.
Oh mind, Oh shameless wandering mind! Why do you weary yourself so?

Here in the Avadhuta Gita, Dattatreya, in a state of very deep absorption into the Truth of his Being, he speaks to his mind, he says: “Oh mind, Oh shameless wandering mind! Why do you weary yourself so?” …why do you tire yourself so?
The mind keeps on coming, even to him, the thoughts keep on coming, it is their Nature, they keep on coming, but they are not the Master anymore, the mind is not anymore the Master, the mind is more like a toy, or like an assistant. It helps with everyday practical things. It is ok, it is useful, it is good that is there, it is like a secretary, it has memory, it remembers things. It helps us dealing with the practical aspects of life, it is good that it is there. But if it abuses its power, if, instead of the secretary, it becomes like the president, if it becomes the chief, then it is a very terrible chief. It is a very good secretary, but a very bad boss.
So, the Mind is moving, and says its own things, and he speaks to his Mind:
Oh mind, Oh shameless wandering mind! Why do you weary yourself so?
I am nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss, I am everywhere like space.

Then he speaks to his Ego (that is making its last movements):

Why do you weep and moan my friend? There is no old age or death for you.
Why do you weep and moan my friend? There is no pain of birth for you.
Why do you weep and moan my friend? You cannot be touched at all!
I am nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss, I am everywhere like space.
What is that inside of us that sometimes it cries, it weeps and moans, saying “Oh, I will die, I will die, please help me, oh God have mercy, I will die”…
Is it the body that speaks like this? No, the body has not this intelligence.
Is it the mind? The mind is like an accumulation of memories, fantasies, desires, etc. I would say it is not the mind.
Is it the Intellect? That wonderful capacity that helps us to discriminate between right and wrong, between beneficial and harmful, is it the Intellect? I do not think so.
I think it is straight away the Ego – that is the Ego!
That strange blockage, that due to it, we have identified ourselves with something limited, something with a beginning and an end… That which is unlimited by beginning or end, it has identified itself with that which is limited, i.e. the human body.
This identification, we can call it Ego, if you like.
So it is that Ego that cries and says: “Oh, I will die”.
Then Dattatreya keeps speaking to his Ego:
“Why do you weep and moan my friend? There is no old age or death for you.”
There is not even old age, not only there is no death, there is not even old age for you, for the body maybe there will be, but you are not that, for what you are is “nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss” – for That, there is no old age!
Other people weep and moan, not because they are afraid of old age, not because they are afraid of death, but because they are afraid of rebirth. They think: “Oh, it has been terrible, eighty years I have lived and now I am going to die and be reborn”. So they struggle, somehow, in the last days for liberation, and here it says: “Do not struggle, there is no rebirth for you. For That, what you are, there is no rebirth. Don’t weep and moan anymore”.
Don’t do anymore drama, enough with drama!
He says: “Why do you weep and moan my friend? You cannot be touched at all”.
You cannot be touched! Nothing can touch you, nothing can harm you, nothing can affect you the least! Nothing can bring you pain, you are the one who is aware of the pain. You are aware of the pain, from a safe distance. Like a reporter, from a safe distance, you look at the pain happening but the pain is not happening to you. You cannot be touched. Nothing can touch you at all!
He goes on:
Why do you weep and moan my friend? You have no form of your own.
Why do you weep and moan my friend? You cannot be deformed.
Why do you weep and moan my friend? You can never become old.
I am nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss, I am everywhere like space.
Why do you worry like: “Today I don’t look beautiful, what should I do? Today I have wrinkles, I need special cream or surgery”.
You have no form. You worry like: “Oh I have taken five kilos, what will I do? Oh, my hair are falling, what shall I do?”.
The Avadhuta says: stop with all this drama! Enough with this drama!
You don’t have a form of your own.
Why do you weep and moan my friend? You can never lose your youth.
Why do you weep and moan my friend? You can never lose your mind.
Why do you weep and moan my friend? You have no organs of senses.
I am nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss, I am everywhere like space.

Many people when they have a little bit of sorrow, some sad moments, they say: “Oh no, I am losing my mind!”. He says: “Do not worry, you cannot loose even it”. It could be a fortunate thing, perhaps, to loose it, but you cannot loose it.

How can you hanker after wealth? You have no property to support!
How can you hanker after wealth? You have no wife (or husband) to feed!
How can you hanker after wealth? Nothing can be your own!
I am nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss, I am everywhere like space.
How can you hanker after wealth? You have no property to support!
You have no property to support…

There is a beautiful bhajan about Lord Shiva. I will tell you the translation straightaway:

“Victory to You, oh Supreme Shiva!
The Whole of the Universe lies inside of You
Yet You don’t have not even a pillow to put Your head upon.”
The whole of what exists depends upon Him, yet He doesn’t have nothing of His own.
This is the Nature of the Atman, the Nature of Shiva, that is why you see Shiva going about like a beggar. He has nothing. He supports everything, but He has nothing.
So, here, it says: “Why do you struggle to get some money? You do not really own something. You have nothing of your own, except from the terrible burden of the concept that you have so many things and that you have, somehow, to maintain them”.
Many of us have this concept: “I have so many things, and I need to maintain them. I have my big car, I have my house, everything, nice clothes… I need somehow to maintain them. I need to have money to maintain them. I need to make money. I need to work hard to earn money to maintain the things I consider my own”. And that is a very great source of suffering.

How can you hanker after wealth? You have no wife or husband to feed!

Some other people are not so much interested in their things (car, house, etc), but they are very much interested in the people of their own (husband, wife, kids, etc.). They think: “I need to work hard to maintain them”.
It says here: “You have no wife of your own. You have no kids of your own”. The body has kids, the body has wife, but when you want to touch a little bit the Truth of your Being, the Truth of your Being does not have a wife. There is nothing second to It. It does not have kids, It does not have husband, It does not have mother or father.
He does not say to you: “You abandon all your duties and go to the forest!”.
He does not say that, do not misunderstand, that is not what is being said.
He says: “Now, for a moment, let us all together, touch the Truth of our Being”.
And to do so, we have, a little bit, to give up the concepts and the misconceptions.
We have to give them up for a moment.
What you are, what you seek for, through Self Enquiry, what you truly are, It does not have a wife, It does not have a husband, It does not have kids, mother, father, relatives, friends. What you truly are It does not have anything second to Itself. There is nothing second to Itself. It exists all by Itself, in Its Perfect Glory. By Itself It is fulfilled. It does not need something else to be fulfilled. By Itself It is full. By Itself It is perfect.
How can you hanker after wealth? Nothing can be your own.

Not only nothing is your own, but nothing can possibly be your own!
We usually say: “My clothes, my books, my things”. Are they truly ours?
What a terrible burden… nothing can be ours!
There is a saying that says: “Possessions possess us”. We are possessed by our own possessions. We become slaves to our own possessions. The possessions become the Master.
If we do not have this feeling: “I own things”… that is such a Freedom!
That I do not own things, I do not own people, that I do not have to struggle to support my things, and my people.
So, what it says here is: just step outside the misconception. Have a taste, have a touch of the Pure Unlimited Nature of yours. You have no possessions, you cannot have possessions!
What you truly are, that Pure Self that you are, cannot have possessions.
It can not have people of Its own, the Pure Self.
It continues:
You and I are not attached to this world of ephemeral forms.
It is only the shameless mind, which divides the one in parts.
Division and non-division are the same to you and to me.
I am nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss, I am everywhere like space.

Saint Francis of Assisi was one of the richest people in his town, Assisi. He was a very wild youth, very wild. He was throwing parties all the time, big bandaras, big feasts. He had the finest clothes…his father, in fact, was a cloth merchant. He had the finest quality cloth, purest silk brought from France. He had a very beautiful house, and the best foods, and the best drinks, best Italian wine. And he enjoyed all of this to its full. But inside him, he was feeling empty.
He was depending on these things for happiness, yet he could not find it. So he was having more of these things, more nice clothes, more nice food, more nice parties, thinking: “Perhaps now I can find some happiness”. But it was not working.
He also liked very much the beautiful ladies. One day he had a divine vision, and in this divine vision, he saw a very beautiful lady – he had never ever seen something compared to her, and for the first time his heart was fully charmed, he was fully fallen in love – for the first time in his life. He thought: “I am ready to do everything for this Divine Lady!”.
Afterwards he was thinking about her all the time: “How can I meet her? Where can I find her? Who is she and where can I find her?”. He became captivated by her Beauty. It became the purpose of his life to meet her, to find her, to get married with her. He was praying: “Oh Lord, please, show me where can I find her? I will give up everything for her!”.
And one day, the Lord answered his prayer. This Lady appeared again in his vision, the very same Lady, and the Lord said to him: “This Lady will be your Wife”. And Saint Francis said: “Really? Who is she? Where can I find her? What is her name?”. And God spoke inside of him and told him: “Her name is Poverty, and she will be your Wife, and she will lead you to Me. She will lead you to your Divine Nature, this Wife of Yours, Poverty”.
And Saint Francis got it, he was ready for that. He went to the window, and he started throwing out all his beautiful things and clothes – and he was so much enthusiastic that he was not only throwing out his clothes but he was throwing also the clothes of his father!
He gave up everything, and completely naked he left and went to the forest. And he found that Happiness, that Happiness that comes from Freedom, from Purity, from Freedom from burden.
He found that Happiness that he could not find in all the parties, the best parties in Assisi, not even a touch. He got married to Poverty.
The Ego is the most heavy possession, it needs a lot of support, it takes a lot of energy and a lot of time. So, if we just throw away our clothes out of the window, it is not guaranteed we will find happiness – we will have also to throw our “inner possessions” out of the window!
It is not practically necessary to throw our clothes out of the window – what is necessary is to give up this attachment, this idea of possession: “These are my clothes, I depend on them. If I do not have my clothes I will never be happy”.
This is what it says here very beautifully:
“Why do you hanker after wealth, you cannot have anything of your own”… so beautiful!
It says: “You cannot have anything of your own”.
It does not say: “It would be better if you do not have the attachment”.
No! You CANNOT have anything of your own – very straightforward!
We can believe we have many things of our own, but we cannot have anything of our own.
Shall we understand this clearly, that nothing belongs to us…
Even the Knowledge that we have, does not belong to us.
Even the words we speak now, do not belong to us.
Even the experiences that we have, do not belong to us.
That, I call it truly Sannyas, true renunciation, essential renunciation.
Renunciation of the burden, renunciation of the Delusion.
My works, my actions, they do not belong to me, somehow they unfolded by themselves.
My thoughts, what is my connection with them – I do not have connection with them. They do not belong to me, somehow they appeared from somewhere, somehow they went away.
All my words, my poetry, my music, my speech, my creations, my designs, everything does not belong to me. That is Sannyas. That is renunciation. That is Freedom!
My Spiritual Experience also does not belong to me.
Once some person asked me: “Tell me your Spiritual experience?”.
I said: “I don’t have some Spiritual experience”.
He said: “Don’t worry, don’t worry – in time you will have some Spiritual experience!”.
It is good we cannot do “copyright” on Spiritual experiences.
We do not have possessions, but we have many Gifts.
Many Gifts are given to us.
Can we say the Silence that we feel, is it a possession? Is it my Silence?
And how can I protect it, so that nobody will take it away?
It is not a possession, it is a Gift!
Somehow it is given, but it does not belong to us. It can go at any time.
We should not be attached even to the Silence.
It is a Gift.
The Inspiration is a Gift.
Everything we receive in every single moment is a Gift, but it does not belong to us.
What we are cannot have any possessions.
If you like to do Self Enquiry, this principle will help you:
“I do not really know what I am,
but whatever I am, It cannot have any possession.
I cannot have nothing of my own.”

This will help.
What is That, that is aware of the thoughts?
If there are thoughts happening, you must, somehow, know: “Oh, now there are thoughts happening!”, and sometimes you play along with your thoughts, sometimes you do not play along, but you must know both of these states.
You must know: “Now, I am playing along with my thoughts”, or “Before ten minutes I was playing along with my thoughts, now I am not playing”.
The point is not to stop the thoughts. We are not trying to do that.
Simply to realize there is something present when the thoughts are present and when the thoughts are absent, It is equally present. And we try to focus more on That.
We try to turn our attention – instead of having our attention to the thoughts and to the sense objects, we try to turn our attention to That which is aware of the thoughts and of the sense objects.
So, Self Enquiry means:
What is That, that is aware of the thoughts, when they are present?
And what is That, that is equally aware of the thoughts, when they are absent?
Because the thoughts, in order to appear they need a space to appear. What is That space?
The thoughts can come to That space, they are welcome, do not try to keep them out, to lock your doors, it is not necessary, they can come – just be aware of That space.
You ask me: to be aware is our Essence?
I say: yes, but we are aware anyway.
Awareness is not an effort. You have to be careful with that.
We should not do effort to be aware – That would be artificial.
Awareness is also now present, if there was not Awareness now present, you would not be able to be aware of me speaking. Maybe your Awareness turns to another direction, and thoughts come to your mind, and suddenly you are not aware of me anymore, and maybe you are, somehow, into your imagination, but you are aware of that, you are aware of imagination.
There cannot be absence of the Awareness!
This is a very beautiful realization!
That the Awareness itself cannot be absent.
And it is a very liberating realization!
Even when thoughts come, you can say: “Come in, come into my Palace of Awareness, everybody is welcome”. And if you want to keep the thoughts there, you cannot, they cannot stay, even if you want to keep them, they will tell you: “Now I have to go”.
Thoughts are like this. They come into the Palace of Awareness and they go in their own time – this is not important.
The Palace of Awareness itself is important.
Do not be intimidated by thoughts, they are harmless, they are like mirages – they can intimidate, but they have no power, they cannot touch that space of Awareness, they cannot harm it.
This is very important, this is a liberating realization.
Thoughts are like a small spider, they are harmless. The small spider is harmless, you can take it out gently. For some people it can be very much terrifying, but it is harmless, it is just a small spider, even your worst thought is like a small spider, or like an ant.
So, we don’t try to destroy the thoughts, there is no meaning in that.
We don’t take the bazooka to destroy the little spider – we do not need to do it. We take it out very gently.
The same with the thoughts, we can gently leave them there.
But if you are aware of the power of who you are, then the thoughts can not intimidate you.
So, we do not need a bazooka for the thoughts. It is not necessary.
We do not need to fight at all, in fact. No fight is necessary.
Just asking the question: “Who am I?”
Who am I, who is aware of these thoughts arising, playing, and then falling again?
Who am I, that is aware of these thoughts, what am I?
This is a very innocent question, but when you do this question everything dissolves, all the scary thoughts dissolve immediately.
That is Self Enquiry.

Just asking:
Who am I, who is aware of the thoughts?
Who am I, who is aware of the sensations of the body?
Who am I, who is aware of the pain?
Who am I, who is aware of the surroundings?
Who am I, who is aware of the Peace inside?
Who am I, who is aware of the false sensations inside?
Who am I, who is aware of all voices inside?
Who am I, who is aware of all movements of the energy inside?
Who am I, that shines and illuminates all these movements?
Who am I, who is always present?
Who am I, who is always aware?
Who am I, who is always silent?
Who am I, who is free from all possessions?
Who am I, who is free from all Knowledge?
Who am I, who is Freedom itself?

I am nectarian knowledge, unchanging bliss, I am everywhere like space.

Shivaya Namo Parameshwara
Sada Shivoham

Two more questions came, in the middle of the Satsang (somehow interrupting the answer to the first question), they were maybe meant to be answered later, actually they have been answered “indirectly”:
Second question is: how the World is connected with my Awareness, how anything outside that I perceive, external, how it is connected with what I truly am, that is Awareness?
Third question is: if we reach the point of Supreme Illumination, the thoughts will completely stop? Will it be complete Void? Or they will continue rising?